There is some major power in our emotions. For me, my emotions, especially those on the negative side, can sometimes be intense!
So intense I usually tend to suppress them and try not to face them at all. All this tends to do though, aside from just making me feel sick, is hinder any kind of growth on my part.
Have you ever heard the song: “Let Me Be Sad” By I Prevail? If so, think of it as a bit of a theme for this article. At least parts of it.
If you’ve never listened to it – maybe you should. It’s a good one.
Today, I Am Sad | The Power In Emotions And Embracing Sadness.
This article isn’t intended to be a way for me to wallow in a lower state of self misery, but today took a bit of a turn for me personally and I find myself sitting here with this song in my head, while my eyes and face are puffy from a couple hours of continuous crying.
Toxic tears I like to call them, cause they’re the ones that cause such a swollen reaction to my face as seen below… Eeesh.
My first reaction when the tears started flowing was to try and get a hang of myself and to just stop. The water works, the sadness, the overall feeling! Then, when I couldn’t (totally typical of me) I realized there may be a deeper reason here as to why I was feeling the way that I was feeling.
Maybe I really need to feel some of these feelings and actually let all the tears out.
So I did.
Well, I definitely have a headache now, but the tears have since stopped.
Even so, there is a lingering sadness that I hope I am giving enough room to actually feeling so I don’t end up having it buried along with a lot of other emotions I no doubt have hidden inside.
I recognize that I have grown up with a habit of suppressing emotions, especially when they’ve been too scary to face.
Strong Feelings Can Come On Suddenly
You might be wondering what in the world brought on this turn of events today – well, I had my 33 week OB appointment and was told they’d most likely be scheduling me for a C-section at 39 weeks when I’ve been planning and looking forward to doing things naturally this time.
This may seem like no big deal to many, but to me it was surprisingly devastating news.
I realized today (mainly through all my crying) that I still have A LOT wrapped up emotionally around any kind of possibility of having to endure another C-section, because my younger daughter, Skye, was born this way and everything about that experience was traumatic.
Clearly this trauma is still very present despite the work I’ve put in that I believed to have gotten me past it.
I was stunned with the announcement from my doctor, and frankly I’m also just… mad! I can’t believe this is the healthcare I’m having to work with! Being in a small town, they’re my only option so it’s brought up A LOT of feelings.
I find myself terrified at the possibility of having to go through a C-section again. Even though I technically know this time it could be better since the circumstances around it would be different… but still!
The long story of my traumatic c-section isn’t the point here, but if you’re interested in those details let me know. I’d be willing to write a whole post on those events if anyone cares to know it.
Feel Your Emotions, Don’t Bottle Them.
As I find myself trying to feel and accept these emotions in their entirety so I don’t accidentally bottle them up only for them to come out in some worse way later – I’ve been thinking about the importance of recognizing ALL of my emotions, not just the good ones I WANT to feel. We can harness the power of emotions into something positive if we decide to let ourselves.
I think this is a big part of self-improvement. I want to develop a self-love for all parts of me, the good and the bad.
It Can Be Easy To Want To Hide From Intense Emotions And Feelings – This is Suppression.
We live in a world that often glorifies happiness and positivity, and so it’s often frowned upon (by others and by ourselves) to have any kind of negative emotions visible.
If you have them, then you better hide them – or else!
It’s so easy to fall into the trap of suppressing our negative emotions, especially sadness.
I’ve found it’s almost like our society has enabled the feeling that showing negative emotion can make others uncomfortable. So if this is the case, it’s best to shove those emotions aside and put on a happy face!
I mentioned in Decoding The Dreaded RBF: AKA “Resting Bitch Face” | This May Surprise You! how I was often told to “slap a smile on my face” from a very young age. There’s probably many who relate, so no wonder why people may develop this idea that feeling sad or mad is “bad”.
Have you ever thought that allowing yourself to feel sad could actually be one of the most liberating and transformative experiences of your life?
I want to explore the importance of feeling your emotions, particularly sadness, and how embracing the fact that we have these feelings for a reason can potentially lead to a profound sense of healing and personal growth.
Understanding Sadness:
Sadness is a natural human emotion, yet it’s often stigmatized or dismissed as something to be avoided at all costs.
Feeling sadness serves a vital purpose in our emotional landscape and can actually be a signal that something is amiss. Emotions are a source of information we can use to learn from.
Whether it be a loss, disappointment, or an unmet need – having the realization that there could be a deeper reason you’re feeling an intense emotion or feeling can be huge in being able to identify some tools that can serve in helping yourself actually overcome the source of your negative emotion vs. the typical shove it down and dismiss it method (I know – i’ve grown up going this route.)
Instead of suppressing or denying our sadness, it’s important to address it by learning to acknowledge and even honor it.
The Dangers of Emotional Suppression:
Suppressing our emotions, including sadness, can have serious effects on our mental and physical health.
I’ve found that when I push down my feelings instead of processing them, they fester beneath the surface.
I definitely notice an increase in tension, especially in my shoulder blades and neck, and my hips (of all places!)…Hello, tension headaches!
This can and probably is happening to anyone who is avoiding actually “feeling” anything other than what they’re attempting to display by force.
By forcing the “bad” down, this can actually be leading to increased stress, anxiety, and even physical problems that can manifest as sickness or disease.
I’ve also noticed that suppressed emotions have a way of resurfacing when we least expect them, often manifesting as destructive behaviors or developing into more chronic unhappiness (depression).
The Benefits of Feeling Sadness:
Contrary to popular belief, I think that by allowing yourself to feel sad can be incredibly empowering. When acknowledging and accepting your sadness, you open the door to healing and growth.
If we use sadness as a way to slow down, reflect, and process our experiences with compassion and self-awareness, this can be a great way to practice giving yourself grace and can lead to a lot of other positives in ones journey of self-improvement.
It’s through our darkest moments that we often find the greatest opportunities for personal transformation. I know this is true from my own experiences. It’s typically not an immediate realization, but looking back I can see how some of my worst times turned into a blessing in one way or another.
Embracing Vulnerability:
Actually allowing yourself to feel sad can be vulnerable. The kind of vulnerability that forces us to acknowledge our pain and discomfort without judgment or shame.
In a society that values strength and resilience, vulnerability has and can often be perceived as weakness. But I believe that it’s through our vulnerability that we connect with others on a deeper level and cultivate genuine empathy and compassion in general.
Practicing Self-Compassion:
It’s so important to not just wallow in our sadness or negative emotions.
Though it is important to recognize them for what they are, make room for what they may be trying to signal, or accept when they might just be “simply because” (we don’t always need a deeper reason as to why we feel the way we feel.)
Whatever the case, having a sense of self-compassion for your feelings is a must.
Don’t use this as a reason to tear yourself down or as proof you need to be “fixed” in any way. Treat yourself with kindness, acceptance, and understanding – the same you would a close friend in need who was feeling this way about themselves or about something in their life.
Practicing self-compassion can be a reminder that it’s okay to not be okay sometimes. Our worth is not dependent on our emotional state!
Navigating Through Sadness:
Navigating sadness is not about wallowing in despair or dwelling on negativity as mentioned above.
It’s about allowing ourselves to fully experience our emotions without getting stuck in them.
So while it’s important to understand the emotion you’re feeling in the moment, and giving yourself room to feel it when needed, it’s very important to look forward to what comes next.
Find healthy outlets for expression, such as journaling, talking to someone you trust or even a therapist, or doing something you enjoy that’s creative.
“What’s next” also includes practicing self-care and prioritizing activities that nourish our soul and bring us joy.
Finding Meaning in Sadness:
Sadness is painful. But sometimes it can offer profound opportunities for growth and self-discovery.
Through our darkest moments, we gain clarity about our values, priorities, and desires.
Sadness can teach us resilience and empathy.
By allowing ourselves to fully feel what we need to in the moment, then moving on to reframing our perspective, we can find meaning and purpose even in the midst of sorrow.
For me, writing out why I was so triggered by the C-section news brought the realization that I still hold a lot of fear in my mind and heart towards the experience I had with my youngest daughter. I can now recognize that I need to work on this part of me a bit more and accept that I’m not fully “past it” like I was believing myself to be.
My next steps are to face this fear and do some research on what my options are moving forward, then make the best decision I can for myself and my little boy due next month.
I’m so nervous, and I fully admit, I’m terrified. Those two emotions are different right? But I’m determined to do my best and trust that it’s all going to be okay, tomorrow.
Right now, I will allow myself to just feel sad (as well as a little mad) because of all the emotions and feeling that are needing to be felt in regards to my limited options living in this small town.
But tomorrow, I will find out what I can do to move forward with my chin up and the optimism I know I can find inside towards my situation because I allowed myself today to let all the negative rise to the surface, be felt and acknowledged, and I allowed my tears to fall.
Conclusion:
Feeling our emotions, including sadness, is not a sign of weakness – it’s a testament to our humanity.
It’s totally natural for us as human beings to feel sadness! Why it’s so frowned upon is beyond me.
It’s a learning process but I’m working on it. So next time you feel sad, instead of pushing it away, lean into it.
Allow yourself to feel deeply. Believe that it’s through your vulnerability that you will find strength.
Remember, it’s okay to feel sad – and it’s okay to ask for help if you find it too difficult to rise above those emotions. The “what’s next” part can be the hardest, but I’ve found that when I can really let myself have a GOOD cry, and just let it ALL out – It’s cathartic and really is a release in a way. It’s then that i’m able to see a little more clearly and move on fully.
